life lessons reassessed

I usually post on Saturday, but, this week I am posting on a Thursday. This is why:

It’s 2:00am on Thursday, June 19, 2014. I’m wide awake, which is unusual for me. I’m typically a solid 8 hour sleeper. Tonight I have lots on my mind and it has woken me up (or maybe it was that mocha frappachino that I had mid day yesterday that was an extra and rare dose of caffeine). It’s also my birthday.

I learned long ago from an elder in my family that it is better to get up and be productive to calm the mind, rather than toss and turn in bed thinking. So, I am taking this special day as an opportunity to check in with myself about what I believe.

And, if you choose, you can read along for the ride. Here I go, in no particular order:

1. Becoming a mother has been the single most rewarding and life changing event of my life. I still find my son’s birth and first years of life to be nothing short of miraculous. Being a mother has changed me and opened a part of me that I didn’t know would become me. I am a better person because I am a mother. I hold such gratitude in my heart for my son coming into my life.

2. I am grateful for and proud of my own mother in ways I never dreamed possible. She gave me the foundations to be the kind of mother I am today. I had no idea what kind of respect she deserved before I became a mom myself. I thought I did, but I was clueless. Now that I am a mom, I understand all the behind the scenes nuances that she must have experienced as I was growing up – the pride, the worry, the support, the always thinking of her children even when she was doing other things…

3. I am an oxymoron of sorts. (Well, actually I’m a Gemini so I have two sides.) I am a practicing Buddhist who understands non attachment to material things. And yet, I also use the fine china regularly, like high quality clothing, enjoy good art, am a coffee connoisseur and know my wines (and beers thanks to my husband). I have come to terms with this contradiction. If there was an event that forced me to give up this lifestyle (say a major natural disaster) I could and would give it all up, live in a yurt, grow my own food and make hemp clothing.

4. I often dream of moving to a place like Maui and starting my own holistic sanctuary. People could come for Reiki among the tropical plants and could sip on the teas and tinctures that I’ve hand grown, picked and packaged just for them.

5. I’ve learned to never say never. Maybe the above dream will be a reality someday.

6. Even though there is much violence in the word I’ve learned to look for and regularly thank the good people and positive events that are always present. The more I focus on the good stuff, the more I feel comforted when the bad stuff happens. I see it as a yin yang thing, interwoven and connected.

7. As I enter into the later half of my 30’s I have learned to let other people’s opinions go. This has been a particularly hard lesson for me because of my line of work. Being  a psychic medium and energy practitioner, I can feel and read energy on a very fine level. At times it has felt invasive to know with such clarity how others feel, even if they don’t speak it. I’ve had some very intense life lesson experiences that have allowed me to learn how to let go, deeply. For this, I am truly grateful.

8. Related to the above point, I now understand that the painful parts of our lives are the teaching parts. Saying thank you to the pain is a compassionate act we can bestow upon ourselves.

9. I live from my soul, not from my mind. I make choices based on what my heart and inner wisdom says is right. This has steered me into a very good life. I sound overly “rosy” here, but I don’t care how others respond to it (point 7). I have a home, two successful careers (what I call “the day job” and the “life’s soul work”) that bring me joy, good health (mentally, physically and spiritually), good boundaries, solid transportation, spiritual connectedness to the greater source of inspiration in my life, a healthy relationship with a loving life partner, healthy dynamics with my family, etc. I take pride in this.

10. I am excited to experience all that is yet to come. I know that listening to that inner voice, that inner spiritual guidance, has steered me right thus far. It only gets better from here.

Namaste, Laura